Written by Conehead – Originally appeared in Feb ’98 Issue
I have been riding with Pinhead for the past 12 years. I figure I am an intermediate rider who is not getting any better with age. Over the years, Pinhead has been an amazing fount of wisdom and encouragement. The following is just a small collection of his remarks.
“You can make that, Dude.”
This is a common challenge uttered by Pinhead. He says it to anyone he happens to be riding with at the time. It is usually made while we are sitting at the bottom of a gnarly, rock-covered hill climb. Invariably, Ev’mon ends up off in the bushes alongside the hill, The Rookie flips his bike, and I end up stuck somewhere well below the top. After watching the mayhem, and observing what lines to avoid, Pinhead motors by, sitting on the seat.
“What happened to you?”
This is a comment typically made as Pinhead rides back to find you coming down the trail at a considerably slower pace than when you started. Your headlight and odometer are smashed, and your handlebars are destined to be added to your ever-increasing collection of pretzel trophies. I am censoring the typical replies to this query.
“Don’t use your brakes.”
Pinhead used to say this all the time to his wife as she would try to negotiate a particularly tricky creek crossing or stretch of trail. She doesn’t ride anymore.
“Damn I’m cold.”
The last time Pinhead made this statement, I had followed him up into the snow-packed trails of Frazier Peak in Los Padres National Forest. He was wearing his new enduro jacket. I was wearing a t-shirt. We had to stop fairly often so I could thaw my hands on my engine.
“Pay no attention to the black diamond with a squiggle sign.”
This was said at Georgetown OHV. It was raining, there was snow on the surrounding peaks, and I had about 1/2 mile on my new KDX. The trail probably didn’t deserve the squiggle symbol, but it did traverse a canyon that you didn’t want to slip into. The trail was less than 12 inches wide and metal spikes were sunk into the rock face to keep the trail in place. Of course, there was also a 3-foot-high boulder that you had to hop over about halfway along the traverse.
“I don’t think you want to go down this.”
This was said over his shoulder as we were on another cliffside traverse where there definitely was not room to turn around.
“Hey, how much food ya got?”
Pinhead always makes sure he has enough powdered-sugar doughnuts for every morning of all our campouts. Problem is that is usually all he brings.
Other assorted comments:
“Dude, I need TP now!”
“Did you bring your XXX special tool?”
“I think the campfire needs more gasoline.”
“This trip was a success.”
“Dude, it was an act of God.”
